Iraq and Back: A Journey with Depression

I joined the U.S. Army back in 2005 and in 2006 I would be deployed to northern Iraq.

It was a bizarre experience, as I would develop Schizoaffective disorder as well as major depression disorder, while deployed.

I was incorrectly diagnosed and discharged with a personality disorder.

I dealt with my personal Hell in Iraq, and dealing with being a civilian was no vacation either.

To cope, I threw myself into art and poetry, amassing a collection of those dealing with themes of my deployment and my misery.

These are those pieces of art and literature.

Excerpt

“Can you feel that?
Like waking up suddenly from a nightmare.
Still haunting you.
Still feeding on your heavy thoughts.
Thoughts that you can’t juke.
Cant out run
Can't hide from.

Can you feel that?
Like a railroad spike through the heart.
Weighing you down.
Dragging you back from your friends and family.
People who can't help you.
Cant understand you.
Can’t see you.

Can you feel that?
Like a hammer slamming on your hand.
Crippling you in pain.
Keeping you from reaching out to the world.
A world too far.
Full of people.
Just not you.

Can you feel that?
It doesn’t matter if you do”